Damn you, google!
Google is giving us ads for therapists in the sidebar. It is trying to hint something?
posted by eeka at
9:30 AM
Hello, and welcome to the Dead Dad Page. This is a collection of images and text pertaining to dead dads. You might ask why we would make such a page. The reason is simple: because we can.
posted by eeka at
9:30 AM
6 Comments:
hi. i dont know what im doing here and i dont know why im here...well i guess i do. i typed in dad dead into good and voila here i am.
my dad died in march. i know its been a long time since his death but it doesn't feel that way to me. i miss him all the time. and i think about him all the time....i cry all the time. im 21 and at college and feel so alone. i wish that my friends understood...but i know they wont.
i can't sleep at night. i just think about him and who he was and how much i miss him..and how scared i am to move forward with my life without him. sheesh im 21 and not about to get married or have kids but i keep thinking about that. i will have to walk down the aisle alone and my children will never meet their grandfather. i dont know how i am supposed to live without him.
if there is anyone that could give me any sort of advice i would really really really appreciate it.
thanks.
Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry that you have lost your father at such a young age and that you are having such a tough time adjusting to life without him. I lost my dad when I was 27. I had a tough time too. I cried a lot and I was, apparently, not particularly nice to be around. I wasn't aware of that until my boss pulled me aside and urged me to seek counseling. Losing a parent can be tough at any age. I highly recommend that you get some grief counseling. You should be able to find affordable (or free) help through a county health program or Hospice. If you have siblings that you are close to, you may want to talk with them, too. My younger brother was my closest friend after our dad died. It's good to have someone to talk to who can relate to how you feel.
Again, I am so sorry that you're having to go through this. I hope that you are able to get some help in dealing with your grief and loneliness.
Sincerely,
The Contessa
thank you so much for getting back to me. it was so wonderful to hear from someone else.
i have been through counseling and it really isn't helping, ive been on anti-depressants and those dont help too well either. i have also tried to reach out to my family, my brothers (both older) and my mother but they are just going through their own things and things are just hard.
i really wish that there was a place to talk about all of this, a real website dedicated to people going through hard times. please reach out to me again. i loved reading what you had to say.
thank you.
I was 12 when mine decided to drop off the face of the earth. I'm 18 now - and it doesn't get any easier. To be honest, it just gets harder because... you realise what you are going to miss out on and then you just start to get fixated on something.
So.. you just have to keep on going. That's all you can really do.
Anonymous 2 - In my experience, it does get easier. Then again, I was 27, not 12, when I lost my father, and he died of cancer, as opposed to deciding to "drop off the face of the earth." (I'm guessing that means that he abandoned you and your family. I am sorry for your loss.)
I can only speak for myself, and my experience was that the first year was definitely the hardest, but with time and professional counseling, it did get easier.
Anonymous 1 - I would say that if the counseling you've been getting isn't helping, you may want to find a different counselor. That doesn't mean that the counselor you're seeing isn't any good, it just may not be a good match. I switched counselors after a few months and it made all the difference for me. You may also want to discuss with your doctor a change in your anti-depressant dosage, or possibly a different medication. (I found that when my dr. increased the dosage on mine it made a huge difference.)
I recommend you check out this website: http://www.twloha.com/
"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."
They are good people doing good work.
And if you'd like to correspond further with me, post your email address in a comment here. I'll get an email when you post the comment, so you don't have to leave the comment up.
Know that you're not alone. I may not know you, but I do care.
Sincerely,
The Contessa
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